Adventures at a coffee house... Vol. 1 Crash Test Dummies!

A few weeks ago I started a second job at a coffee house. More or less it has been pretty much just a job and not worthy to write about. Yesterday I went to a training class in which they educated us on the “company way” and all about growing, producing and brewing coffee (thankfully that part was interesting). I’m not here to divulge the class to you, but rather tell a story about the interesting (or perhaps lack thereof) personalities that I attended the class with. A coffee house tends to attract intellectual types (or so I’m told) and lots of college students, so I figured it would be a fun place to work. When we first got there, the instructor (whom we’ll call Charlotte) asked us to make placards and on them write your name, your favorite movie and the person you’d most like to sit down and have coffee with. I rolled my eyes (internally) and caught the attractive single mom across from me roll hers literally. I set about my task. My favorite movie is Seven Samurai, I thought about not writing it down because to any film student, it’s the most stereotypical answer. But, upon reflection, it is just that good on so many levels that I stuck with my answer (which, of course, justified why it is a stereotypical answer). Next came the person I’d most like to have coffee with. I thought about it and wanted to write Noam Chomsky or Howard Zinn but I thought that they had written enough books as to give me a pretty clear insight as to what they are about. Then I thought of Karl’s favorite; GG Allin but I thought he’d probably end up rubbing shit all over himself and ruining my coffee (that and he’s dead). How about Jimmy Carter? Naw, probably put me to sleep. John F. Kennedy? Oh yeah, dead and not sure if I really care. Sir Richard Burton, Yeah! Nobody will have any idea whom that is. Teddy Roosevelt? Sounds good, people will know him, he had a full life, soldier, adventurer, political activist, president, environmentalist and then political activist again. Great choice! Okay I was all set. Next came the unveiling... 1.) The attractive single mom across from me: Sleepless in Seattle (aw how sweet, bleech!) and Marilyn Monroe (Okay, a burned out actress that committed suicide, whatever). 2.) The tiny, unfeminine girl with a shaved head that walked like James Dean and looked like a confused Verne Troyer (No Joke): The Exorcist and John Lennon (The Exorcist? Okay, well at least it was good. She did remark proudly that she had seen it 60 some odd times. And John Lennon, hey at least the guy was a political activist and probably would be pretty interesting, but, at least I thought, probably more stereotypical than my Seven Samurai choice). 3.) The attractive younger woman that seemed very familiar to me (but I couldn’t place from where): Rushmore (Yeah! That is a great flick!) and Owen Wilson (Wha- Owen Wilson? An actor? More like a film personality actually, but whatever.) 4.) The smart-mouthed young guy with thick square eyeglass frames: Dumb and Dumber and Ben folds (whoa, Dumb and Dumber? Okay, he obviously has depth and Ben Folds? What’s he wanna do, ask him about the Shatner album?) 5.) The young woman with somewhat extreme Asian features: The Girl Who Played Go and Shan Sa (Wow, I was impressed a little, she picked a book and the author of that book, okay at least one in the bunch is interesting) 6.) The girl (couldn’t be more than 22) who wears too much mascara and proudly boasts that she’s married to a 40 year old musician: Robert Plant and The Terminator (Another artist? And the Terminator? I mean I like that flick and all but c’mon) 7.) Was me and my answers. 8.) The younger lady sitting next to me that talked to herself a lot! (I mean I talk to myself sometimes, but not in public): Sleepless in Seattle and Tom Hanks (Another one!?!? And Tom Hanks? Okay, he probably would be fun but he is just an actor) 9.) Our instructor Charlotte: The Last Dragon and Charles Barkley (What? The Last Dragon? The silly martial arts musical with Vanity? And Charles Barkley?) Okay, I know, people have their own likes and dislikes, their own interests and who the fuck am I to question them. Well, one thing that did get to me was that almost everyone of them talked about reasons why they wanted to meet their person. #1 said that she thought she could get some insight into Marilyn (Hey, I get that.) #5 said she wanted to understand where the author got the idea for the book and to help her understand it better (Worthy answer!) Everyone else down to a person (including Charlotte) said “What a genius (insert their pick here) is. They are so smart and creative. I just love him/her.” What the fuck? Those are your reasons? And most of the movies went the same way. “I love that flick, it’s just pure genius!” Wow, at least I had a better answer for the Seven Samurai than that. It’s no wonder why our society is going to hell in a hand basket. Most people can’t or just refuse to think. Well, at least no one answered with George W. Bush.

A Sense of Freedom Can be Found in Despair.

During our lives we create a false importance around society’s trappings. We allow ourselves to become shackled by our lack of fortitude and focus. We are swayed by the distractions of money and all of the things it can buy. We are tricked by our values and beliefs. The relationships we should cherish, fall into disrepair and unnamed resentment. We let others down and curse ourselves for it. The machine of our culture attempts to consume us, even as it tricks us to consume others. Our spirit and uniqueness are hunted by the starving wolves of order which use chaos as their tools of fear. The weight of it all begins to crush us and we despair. When we reach the very end of our thoughts and nothing is left, we are set free. A sense of freedom can be found in despair.

Random Thoughts... The Right One or A Nice Man / One Good Woman

Ah love! All sorts of people do all sorts of things for it. Sacrifice themselves, sacrifice others, go to the ends of the earth, murder and even overthrow countries (or at least they used to, now they do it for power and money) all for a promise of love. On a less grand scale, people everyday try to find love. Not just any love but true love. Dating website abound (heh-hem at least so I’m told), friends try to set each other up and even parents introduce children to friends children. If we aren’t looking for us, we’re looking for someone else. Here in this culture, we sometimes find love many times. When it doesn’t work out we feel despondent and heart-broken afterwards thinking that maybe they weren’t the one. Men bitch that they just need to find “one good woman” and woman complain that they just need to find “a nice man”. I myself have found four good women. “Four? Adam are you kidding, four!? Are you fucking retarded, why didn’t you just keep the first one?” Fair question, but I’m not here to talk about my own failed relationships, at least not in any detail (I’ll save that for another blog). If you believe that fate is set then obviously at least three of them were not the “right one”. If it’s a compatibility issue then at least two were not the “right one”. Potentially, none of them could be the “right one” nor anyone else for that matter. Is the idea of the “right one” just some stupid romantic fantasy that all people cling to? Why are you asking me? I just so much as stated that I have failed in relationships with “good” women. What? Oh, right, you’re reading this blog because you think I have some insight on the matter. Well, no, not really and yes I do have my own warped idea about all of it...

It started when my girlfriend (even though we don’t get to see each other much between multiple jobs and multiple children [not with each other] it is far easier to use the familiar “girlfriend” moniker then always typing “the lady that I am dating”.) was telling me of a co-worker that made some comment regarding “meeting nice men”. This triggered something in my subconscious and I thought about the whole “right one” idea and as it applied to my girlfriend (herself "I believe" being one of the aforementioned “good women”) and her co-worker (whom we will call Tamy-Sue). Since we all work at the same Las Vegas resort (y’know, the Stardust) I know Tamy-Sue a little. She has never appealed to me as “the right one” nor a “good woman”. Actually, she always seemed a bit twitchy to me. This led me to think of my past relationships (No, not all of them, but rather the ones where one of us was clearly not very “nice” or “good”). You see, about two years ago I was in a relationship. It wasn’t particularly serious (at least not to me) but ultimately I was not a very nice guy. Not because I was mean, per se, but because I didn’t want anything more out of what we had. It was casual, it was fun (mostly) and it was risk free. The truth was, she never had been married and had never had children (two things I had already done) and even though she said she was okay with that (probably for my sake) she wasn’t and she eventually wanted more. The end, because, ultimately, I didn’t love her, I just loved the situation. It was unfair to her, though (Yes, you may call me an insensitive prick, now). I can say that this is the height of my “prick”ness outside of high school. I’ve also dated a few “damaged” women. One broke up with me and proceeded to play two weeks of “I’m pregnant and I’m going to get an abortion” games with me. That was one ugly scene. Another, led me to believe that I was her “savior” of sorts, only to screw some guy (or so I’m told) in the men’s restroom of a PT’s Pub while we both attended a party there (of course I let myself get caught up with her leading up to this, even though better judgment said otherwise and lost). That one ended that day but hurt for a few months after, mostly because of the indignity of the whole restroom thing (and other details I’ll leave out). Another came on to me full force after calling one day looking for my newly separated soon to be ex-wife, only to find her not there. Yeah that one was weird and, regrettably, neither of us were very “good” or “nice” but at least it was mutual.

Some people may never figure it out but each attempt is what you make of it. Some people will never get “it”, others get lucky and live a long and mostly happy life with their high-school sweetheart. Others will continue to struggle, improve and grow and (hopefully) find someone that helps them become better people (and visa versa). Others will simply find that special someone that “puts up with their shit”. Sometimes it’s a combo, deal. Anyway that works, more power to them! I know I’m a “nice guy” but I haven’t always been one and I can still be a prick when the situation arises or sometimes when it doesn’t arise. For me it’s age, maturity, experience and understanding the kind of man I want to be. I’m not always successful at first but I eventually get it right (just give me about 15 minutes to realize I’m being insensitive, longer if I’ve been drinking). I’m willing to bet that even Tamy-Sue has probably met a few “nice men” but fucked them up on some level. Talking with my girlfriend about this blog, she added her own reflections, “Maybe we’re just all assholes.” To which I replied, “Yeah, all we have to do is find two assholes that match up.” This led to a dumb round peg, round hole joke that seemed like it would be funny to add to this blog (although not so much now). The only point I’m trying to make is that most people fuck things up all by themselves without any help, whether by design or by accident and, ultimately, only have themselves to blame (yeah, I know, I guess I’ve been on an existentialism kick lately).

Quick Hits: Tiger Woods’s Great Legacy... and The Worst Thing I Heard Today...

Tiger Woods’s Great Legacy...

While listening to NPR, I was completely absorbed by a story in which the commentator was talking about Tiger Woods and other golfers regarding the Ryder Cup. The Ryder Cup is a great tournament that concentrates on team play, taking place in Ireland. The commentator talked about Tiger’s past performances (all poor apparently) in the Ryder Cup and how Tiger really needs to understand his legacy within the golfing world. He expressed his desire to see Tiger “step up” and take his place among the golfing elite. He also criticized Tiger for not taking the Ryder Cup seriously enough. The commentator talked on and on about how great the old U.S. of A. team was back in the 60’s, 70’s and 80’s and how they dominated the European team but since Tiger took the reigns our team has suffered. Hmm... Legacy? Elite? Taking it seriously? Wait a fucking moment here! We are talking about golf, right? That game that uses large tracts of land and water purely for aesthetic reasons? That game that was originally (and still is as far as I know) for the rich and powerful. What the fuck! I mean, don’t misunderstand, if a guy can make millions playing a game his whole adult life, more power to him. But don’t fucking talk about it or him as someone great or someone that needs to take golf seriously. I really thought it was a joke that I didn’t get. Damn that commentator sounded serious though.

The Worst Thing I Heard Today...

Today (at the good ‘ol Stardust) a lady had won ten thousand dollars (yes $10,000). I always like to see people win (y’know, take a little bit out instead of the other way around). She was happy but she expressed to me that the last couple of days she had lost over $9000 dollars playing slot machines (probably a conservative estimate, I mean, would you tell if you lost more than you won) and that she really needed this. Okay, I thought, she looked like a rich old bird and it was her money, she could be doing something better with it but who cares. She then changed her tone and started explaining how she “deserved” this she really acted as if it was her right to win this. Yeah, okay lady, you and every other gambler. I went and made the check out, when I returned she gratefully took the check and then looked at me proudly and said. “Half of this check is going to help pay for my son’s cancer bills. He really needs the help and I’m going to help him.” Wait a zombie-jesus minute here! Did she just say what I thought she said? Yes, she did and repeated it a few times. I shouldn’t have to explain why this is the most reproachable, disgusting, irritating and self-gratifying thing I’ve heard all day. She did not tip and if this was her way to get out of one, it’s probably the most creative one I’ve heard.

Defender of the Weird...

I was on my break today enjoying a bowl of frozen yogurt and watching CNN. I was vaguely aware of the program as I was musing about some things that were on my mind at the time. Ok, I was thinking about Salsa dancing, but more on that another time. Anyway, sitting on the table in front of me was one of our resident employee weirdos. Now this guy, whom we’ll call Anton, usually sits alone, doesn’t really have any friends and talks to himself often (no, it’s not me, I swear). I, myself, am aware of him from the many years I’ve worked at my job, also he had tried to change departments once and I had talked to him about it, but admittedly I have never really gotten to know him. (The photo is a gross exaggeration) For now, we’ll let Anton be.

I make it a point to sit off by myself on break (Unless I see Karl, Crasskins or a few others that know who you are) because I like to sit silently and just zone out or write down ideas, phrases or thoughts (hey, that’s how I take a break.) Everything was going okay (or at least as relaxing as a break can be in that place) when around the corner, SHE came. She, whom we’ll call Leona, is the same person that harasses my good buddy Karl regarding his vegetarianism and other choices he has made. Yes, she’s that bitch from Karl’s blog. She proceeds to pull up a chair and sit right next to me. Now, I could just ignore her (and mostly I do) but something about her presence, her very aura, radiates outward and makes me feel uncomfortable. You must understand; she’s opinionated (which isn’t bad on it’s own), pushy, closed minded, bossy, ignorant and delights in proving herself superior to others (even though she’s not). The other big problem with her is that our bosses let her get away with this behavior, over and over. She represents several archetypical traits of what I hate most about humanity (or lack thereof).

So, CNN is talking about some twin brother mass murderer and the details surrounding the case. The psychologist that is analyzing the last letter from the murderer uses terms like lonely, reclusive, bored and unbalanced. As the story ends, Anton gets up and states (to no one in particular) “An idle mind can lead to bad things, that’s why it’s best to stay busy and active.” It was articulated very coherently. I chuckled a bit because, I (being a relative loner and currently undergoing a bit of pre middle-aged renaissance) feel that it’s vitally important to look inward and face yourself so that you may grow from it. While keeping busy can be good (and productive) keeping too busy can hide you from yourself. (Yeah, I know, existential bullshit!)

After Anton walks away, Leona pipes up (apparently assuming my chuckle was a shallow insult toward Anton) saying, “What the hell is he talking about! He doesn’t even make any sense. The least he could do is keep his mouth shut.” Or something pretty close to this. The hackles on my neck rose. How dare she! Anton never messes with anybody and when he decides to talk, and actually has an opinion, this bitch is going to assert her lousy two cents! I stayed calm (I am at work after all) and I proceeded to explain to her what he had meant and why (Okay, I did make some assumptions of Anton’s personality, but I’m reasonably sure they were accurate) then I went on to exactly why I chuckled. The best part was that she didn’t say a word. She stayed silent and seated the whole time and even after. Of course she could've thought I was an idiot, but who cares about that, she just stayed silent. Now, this may not seem like much, but I’m confidant that Karl will vouch for the fact that getting this royal pain in the ass to shut up is pretty damned impressive.

What's even more important in all of this is that Anton, being a resident wierdo, actually had something to say. It wasn't offensive it was just his opinion. Leona had nothing to say and would have been better off heeding her own advice. As for myself, I guess I can't keep my mouth shut either.

Happy September 11th!

With all of the other media out there, I thought someone should remember this day for some of the positive things...

Happy New Year in Ethiopia!

Happy Teacher’s Day in several Latin American Countries!

Happy Birthday to...

1928 - Earl Holliman, American actor
1933 - Dr. William L. Pierce, American author and activist
1934 - Oliver Jones, Quebec jazz pianist
1935 - Arvo Pärt, Estonian composer
1935 - Gherman Titov, second man in space
1937 - Iosif Kobzon, Soviet singer and Russian businessman
1937 - Queen Paola Ruffo di Calabria of Belgium
1937 - Robert Crippen, American astronaut
1939 - Charles Geschke, American inventor and businessman
1940 - Brian de Palma, American film director
1942 - Lola Falana, American singer
1943 - Mickey Hart, American drummer (Grateful Dead)
1945 - Franz Beckenbauer, German footballer
1945 - Felton Perry, American actor
1948 - John Martyn, English musician
1950 - Barry Sheene, British motorcyclist
1953 - Tommy Shaw, American musician, lead singer of Styx
1958 - Roxann Dawson, American actress
1958 - Scott Patterson, American actor
1961 - Virginia Madsen, American actress
1961 - Philip Ardagh, British writer
1962 - Elizabeth Daily, American actress
1962 - Kristy McNichol, American actress
1963 - Dr Patrick McWilliams, Irish author
1964 - Victor Wooten, American musician
1965 - Bashar al-Assad, The current President of Syria
1965 - Moby, American musician
1966 - Princess Akishino, Wife of Prince Akishino, Japanese Imperial Family
1967 - Harry Connick, Jr., American singer
1968 - Kay Hanley, American musician
1971 - Richard Ashcroft, British singer
1971 - Markos Moulitsas, American blogger and author
1976 - Elephant Man, Jamaican musician
1977 - Ludacris, American rapper
1977 - Jon Buckland, British guitarist (Coldplay)
1978 - Ed Reed, American football player

On This Day...

1814 - The Battle of Plattsburgh ended the War of 1812

1961 - Formation of the World Wildlife Fund.

Interesting Image of the Day! Playtime!

While looking around for interesting images I came across a whole bunch of strange baby photos (more on them in another post). This was one of them. It's not strange, but it's so damned cool! I mean this baby looks like it's feeling the passion of drum playing. This image has been floating around the internet for a while but credit is rarely given. This is actually a print by photographer Keith Baker called Playtime. I gotta get this one some day.

Dirty Little Secrets! Vol. 2

No, not the girl, the Slurpee! I quit drinking soda about two years ago but once a week I still have one of these with my kid. It's a LaVey family ritual! (Not like Anton's rituals, this one is much more low key yet no less evil) You may be thinking that one of these is basically a soda, and you're pretty much correct (although these have a bit more water and, hence, less sugar, calories and overall carbs per ounce than soda). But, hey, I did go from 3-4 sodas a day as well as a slurpee a week down to just the Slurpee. So back off!

Picking up the pace? or, Murder! It's not for everyone.

The Blog has been slow lately, sorry for that (at least the 2-3 three that read with any regularity). My life has been busy lately, changing shifts at work (again), kid going back to school, getting a second job and dating someone (It’s even a real woman!). Crasskins and his gal even introduced me to another real woman (whom I thought was equally cool, but I had already started dating the other) It’s been a pretty busy life. Recently, I was pissed at my kid because when she came back from a summer trip with her mother, she embodied the definition of the word inane. I would ask simple, direct questions like, “How was your trip?” and get back, “The trip?” and then silence. This continued for a couple days with all manner of Q and lack of A. “Did you brush your teeth?” and “What brush?”, “What would you like for dinner?” and “Dinner? What?” and on and on. Now, her answers could be considered critical thinking if she would have had a follow up, y’know, probed my questions a bit deeper. But she would provide those answers and then nothing. Inane. I was getting pretty damned impatient. In a conversation with Crasskins about her and my only desire as a father is to teach her to think critically (not be a nag but think things through and not accept things just because they seem cool or everyone else likes them) Crasskins told me of a time when his father made him defend why murder is wrong, at the time I thought it was a pretty good story, went home and continued to grow frustrated with my daughter. After one particularly meaningless non-conversation I had enough. “That’s it, before school starts I want a 600 word essay on why murder is wrong and I don’t want a bunch of bullshit religious excuses, I want it thought out and researched.” I didn’t yell but I was obviously a bit upset. She stammered a bit and made a few excuses (which I normally hate, but in this case at least she was beginning to think). The time passed and she produced. During the time she stopped being inane and actually acted and reacted like the kid I knew and loved. Anyway, this is what she came up with...

The Waodani tribes, along the Amazon River, live at the end of the spear. Their tribes are always at war, if you would like to call it that. It’s killed or be killed. They are practically a group of people always at each other’s throat. Their lifestyle is like a family that the little sections are trying to kill each other. They are spilt up into groups. Waodanis mainly kill the men and boys. Because they know that the boys will grow up to kill them. Rarely do they kill the women, because they need them to reproduce.
The first murder mentioned was Cain and Able. Two sons of Adam and Eve, Cain murdered his brother out of jealousy. Cain was jealous of his brother because his brother had better offerings to god. Instead of asking god, or Able why his offerings happened to be small and decent. He killed his brother.
Murder is not the same as killing. Murder is a thought out plan to end someone’s life. Killing is someone getting hit by a car, or plane crash. Most states send murderers to jail, if there is enough evidence to prove that they murdered someone, and the jury finds them guilty.
Capital punishment is what the government does to punish prisoners; death row is one of them. Most states have prisoners on death row for years. Texas is one of the few states that really enforce capital punishment. Instead of death row for years they use something call a lethal injection. It’s like putting a dog to sleep. It makes you sleep, and you never wake up.
Murder leads up to taking someone’s life. Suicide is still murder. It’s an attempt to kill yourself. If someone fails suicide, they are put under surveillance, their arms and legs are tied down and anything that can kill them is away from them. When you kill animals, that’s not murder according to the bible, as animals do not have souls.
Murder always starts with a cause and effect, it is simple logic. Something happens, and then, some one gets mad, then some one dies. If a husband and wife are fighting and the husband kills his wife in the process, it is called passionate murder.
There are a few types of murder, there is first degree murder, which is a premeditated plan to ends some one’s life. A second degree murder is during a murder someone else dies in the process. Manslaughter is by your actions someone dies, like a drunk driver. Involuntary manslaughter is when in the process of something, someone dies. Like a teenager dies because he was messing with a saw. Murder usually happens in a relationship, brother, sister, husband, wife, or any relationship.
If someone came into your house and stole every penny you ever made, would you murder them? You would you be so angry to the point you even thought of murder? I wouldn’t.
The reasons for murder are usually jealously, revenge, and materialistic things. Murdering someone is wrong because, according to the bible, it is the act of destroying one of god’s creations. Another reason is because murdering someone takes away their identity, sense of self, and removes their whole life away. They could have discovered a cure for cancer. And their family only thinks of them as a murder victim. They wouldn’t be able to have kids to pass them on through time. If your mother dies she lives through you and your children, and grandchildren.
There are many reasons why murder is wrong, not just because it’s against the law, or wrong. It’s also about the person in the murder, they might never be able to meet future family members or experience moments in life. That’s why I think murder is wrong.

Ok, she did sprinkle some religious bullshit in there (her mother is very religious, I guess it could not be completely avoided). Overall I was impressed because she had obviously done some research and constructed an essay about it. I honestly didn’t think it would be this well constructed (I couldn’t have done it when I was her age, she’s not a teenager yet). What this boils down to is a big thanks to Crasskins’ dad for helping to break the erosion from the human mind. Next I think I’ll have her defend slavery from the South’s point of view leading up to the Civil War (the first one, not the one that’s coming).