Adventures at a coffee house... Vol. 1 Crash Test Dummies!

A few weeks ago I started a second job at a coffee house. More or less it has been pretty much just a job and not worthy to write about. Yesterday I went to a training class in which they educated us on the “company way” and all about growing, producing and brewing coffee (thankfully that part was interesting). I’m not here to divulge the class to you, but rather tell a story about the interesting (or perhaps lack thereof) personalities that I attended the class with. A coffee house tends to attract intellectual types (or so I’m told) and lots of college students, so I figured it would be a fun place to work. When we first got there, the instructor (whom we’ll call Charlotte) asked us to make placards and on them write your name, your favorite movie and the person you’d most like to sit down and have coffee with. I rolled my eyes (internally) and caught the attractive single mom across from me roll hers literally. I set about my task. My favorite movie is Seven Samurai, I thought about not writing it down because to any film student, it’s the most stereotypical answer. But, upon reflection, it is just that good on so many levels that I stuck with my answer (which, of course, justified why it is a stereotypical answer). Next came the person I’d most like to have coffee with. I thought about it and wanted to write Noam Chomsky or Howard Zinn but I thought that they had written enough books as to give me a pretty clear insight as to what they are about. Then I thought of Karl’s favorite; GG Allin but I thought he’d probably end up rubbing shit all over himself and ruining my coffee (that and he’s dead). How about Jimmy Carter? Naw, probably put me to sleep. John F. Kennedy? Oh yeah, dead and not sure if I really care. Sir Richard Burton, Yeah! Nobody will have any idea whom that is. Teddy Roosevelt? Sounds good, people will know him, he had a full life, soldier, adventurer, political activist, president, environmentalist and then political activist again. Great choice! Okay I was all set. Next came the unveiling... 1.) The attractive single mom across from me: Sleepless in Seattle (aw how sweet, bleech!) and Marilyn Monroe (Okay, a burned out actress that committed suicide, whatever). 2.) The tiny, unfeminine girl with a shaved head that walked like James Dean and looked like a confused Verne Troyer (No Joke): The Exorcist and John Lennon (The Exorcist? Okay, well at least it was good. She did remark proudly that she had seen it 60 some odd times. And John Lennon, hey at least the guy was a political activist and probably would be pretty interesting, but, at least I thought, probably more stereotypical than my Seven Samurai choice). 3.) The attractive younger woman that seemed very familiar to me (but I couldn’t place from where): Rushmore (Yeah! That is a great flick!) and Owen Wilson (Wha- Owen Wilson? An actor? More like a film personality actually, but whatever.) 4.) The smart-mouthed young guy with thick square eyeglass frames: Dumb and Dumber and Ben folds (whoa, Dumb and Dumber? Okay, he obviously has depth and Ben Folds? What’s he wanna do, ask him about the Shatner album?) 5.) The young woman with somewhat extreme Asian features: The Girl Who Played Go and Shan Sa (Wow, I was impressed a little, she picked a book and the author of that book, okay at least one in the bunch is interesting) 6.) The girl (couldn’t be more than 22) who wears too much mascara and proudly boasts that she’s married to a 40 year old musician: Robert Plant and The Terminator (Another artist? And the Terminator? I mean I like that flick and all but c’mon) 7.) Was me and my answers. 8.) The younger lady sitting next to me that talked to herself a lot! (I mean I talk to myself sometimes, but not in public): Sleepless in Seattle and Tom Hanks (Another one!?!? And Tom Hanks? Okay, he probably would be fun but he is just an actor) 9.) Our instructor Charlotte: The Last Dragon and Charles Barkley (What? The Last Dragon? The silly martial arts musical with Vanity? And Charles Barkley?) Okay, I know, people have their own likes and dislikes, their own interests and who the fuck am I to question them. Well, one thing that did get to me was that almost everyone of them talked about reasons why they wanted to meet their person. #1 said that she thought she could get some insight into Marilyn (Hey, I get that.) #5 said she wanted to understand where the author got the idea for the book and to help her understand it better (Worthy answer!) Everyone else down to a person (including Charlotte) said “What a genius (insert their pick here) is. They are so smart and creative. I just love him/her.” What the fuck? Those are your reasons? And most of the movies went the same way. “I love that flick, it’s just pure genius!” Wow, at least I had a better answer for the Seven Samurai than that. It’s no wonder why our society is going to hell in a hand basket. Most people can’t or just refuse to think. Well, at least no one answered with George W. Bush.