Losfer Words...

Disclaimer: Yes, this is yet another whiney self indulgent blog. Suck it up or don't read it. Losfer Words? No, not that old Iron Maiden song (or, at least the first half). I have been in an incredible vacuum regarding having anything to say. Now, I know I don’t always make sense, especially when I’m talking but I always have some comment or opinion or ridiculous diatribe about why Dijon sauce is somehow responsible for the closure of Las Vegas’s great old steak houses. Lately, though, I got nothing. I don’t even want to talk, just listen and when it appears that it is "my turn" to speak I can’t find even a snippet of anything useful, let alone interesting. Yet I can sit here typing and wax intellectual about things as inane as why I need to masturbate more or some silly free form poem about existance. I wonder if this is somehow tied to the idea of "soaking it in" because I’m leaving the Stardust soon? But even that doesn’t make sense as I will see some of these people in my own time when I’m not at work. Since, often times in the past, my mouth and the opinions that it enjoys to throw out there, have made me a bit of a pariah or worse, have gotten me into potential trouble, I must have come to the semi-conscious conclusion that it’s just better to keep my fool mouth shut, thereby not removing all doubt to my idiocy. Now, starting this new job, it’s important to have more discretion with my words and how I use them, but I can't say nothing? Also I feel like I may be alienating (ok, maybe too strong) some of the people close to me. Hell, I haven’t even said too much to Karl lately and his challenge to come up with utterly depressing sayings was kind of a godsend. So, having come to this realization, I should really work on relaxing a bit and remembering these are my friends and in their case talking was the basis for becoming friends in the first place. It’s kind of like the show Seinfeld, they all did some despicable things but they would always meet in that diner together because they were the types of friends that knew just how rotten they could be yet still liked each other.