Happiness is bliss!

Recently I was accused of not being a happy person because of my last couple of blogs (and probably a few scattered here and there). Hmm? What an interesting question to ponder. Am I happy? Your fucking A right I’m happy!!!! MWA HAHAHAHAHAHAHA HA HA HA ha ha ha! I’m so fucking zippity doo da happy, I should be in a loony bin!!! What is happiness anyway? Is it a state of the mind? A state of the soul? A state of the physical being? Is it a combination of all three or even different states for different people? Are people happy when they smile all of the time? Naw, that’s bullshit because I’m paid to smile all damned day at my job, it doesn’t mean I’m happy about it. How many spoiled children do you see that are happy? I mean, look at those horrible spoiled teens on that Mtv show, are they happy? I know their parents aren’t. Does money make you happy? I know a very rich man that comes into the Stardust all of the time, he is quite simply one of the most miserable fucks I have ever seen. He’s not mean, but you can see he’s unhappy because he wears it like a winter coat. With that said, does money make you unhappy? Happiness is probably something much more intangible and I don’t really know how to define happiness in the entire context of the world. I know what defines it for me. “Wait,” you think, “you didn’t actually tell us if you are happy!” I guess I can only reply with... Are you happy? Is happiness for you defined by short term gratification or the realization of long term goals? What makes you happy and what are you doing to get there? Who are you to even ask me if I’m happy? Why is my happiness even your concern? Name one fucking artist in the history of all of mankind that is worth a shit in the art they express and I’m willing to bet, they aren’t very happy people. Does it mean they are unhappy? No, it doesn’t. However, I don’t believe that angst is reserved solely for artists. (Maybe tortured would be a more accurate description) I don’t believe anyone is happy all of the time. It’s simply not going to happen. Happiness is a part of the human condition, it is not the entire human condition. So, back to the original charges of me being happy or not... Quite simply, the answer is... sometimes.

The Wailing Figure

A figure weeps alone in the yard
Surrounded by mists that forever swirl
Always changing, never at rest
It is within these mists that lovers are lost
Friends are found and lives come and go
It is not this passing that creates sorrow
But the realization of what it means
The lost moments of time
Slipping away beneath our grasp
Not feeling all that we should
Not being all that we could
During the moments together
Fleeting realities that drift away
Always lost and sometimes found
A wandering thread of interrupted loneliness
One can only aspire to cherish these moments
How to hold on and when to let go
With love and honesty
Sometimes not alone in the yard

Farewell to the Outlander

Farewell my friend. From our mutual interest in Mythbusters to our almost fledging RenFaire guild, you will be missed. We weren't very close this last year and a half but we always remained friends. One of the more interesting people I have ever known. I'll never forget our night on the Strip during New Years when we really had no business being out there on a night like that, the best partner I ever had during that event. I have fond memories of you sitting in the briefing room before work, tinkering away on your latest piece of chain mail and how you would sit in back and lob "friendly" insults at all of us while we sat in the living room playing our game. Life isn't fair and you always met it with a stiff lip and humor. What has happened is a terrible reminder of how fragile all of our lives are and how we must cherish the simple moments with each other. Too young, my friend, you were too damn young.