Adam LaVey Lives!!!

Yo, check it, okay bad young slang. Adam LaVey LIVES!!! This is the rawest post I've ever posted. Why? Because I'm drunk. I've had 5 or 6 of my favorite and three more since I've been home. Bad call you say? You'd be right. Disclainer: I have no doubt when sober me sees this in the morning, he delete it. He is a fucking pansy. Not wholly unjustified. If he wasn't a pansy, compared to me, we wouldn't have any friends (or a job). can be so brutally honest, that  people run. I get it, that's why I allow him to exist. But he also needs me, that's why he allows me to exist. I have friends. about 7 or 8, maybe 10-12, close ones. ONE really close! I like them, I LOVE them, but I also miss my old friends. but that's not important right now. My girlfriend, well the closest thing I've had to a girlfriend in ten years, broke up with me today. I am sad, but mostly I am fucking pissed off. Detasils aren't important, suffice to say, this shit gets harder when you get older. She's dumb (and/or not ready) because, shit lady, we all go thorugh shit. Life is an equal opportuniy mother fucker. It drags us down and kicks our ass. and it WILL keep us there if we let it. Fight! FIGHT!!! Keep fighting! If not for people, then for understanding. WHo cares if we wouldn;t have lasted? But bailing out for personal insecurities? Fuck! I'd never meet anyone if I let my insecuritoes rule me!!!! My favorite of favorite bartender recently quit my favorite hangout bar. I was devastated! Not because I loved her (which I do!) but because, in the end, I realized I (all of us) took her for granted. OUCH the pain... There is not many people I hope to see again, but SHE is definately one of them. As for why? Well, it is imporntant to note she seemed to have an affintiy for us, and we had one for her. It was mutual, but now she is gone... She was (is?) a semi-closeted geek. We had things in common and she was AWESOME!!! I miss her already, even if I have not been back there since, I'm not sure I want to. Sad face. I miss my girlfriend too. She was cool and made me believe a few things I forgot was important to believe. Then she yanked that rug right out. People. They suck. My best friend is awesome!!! Sometimes we don't agree, but we always seem to come back to center! I want to see her grow and achieve. Where in the living fuck a, I going inthis post? Hell, I'm not sure. I' have been suicidal, not my previous Long Walk post suicidal, but like, suicide as a logical conclusion. I never did it because deep deep down, I am basically optimistic and I want to enjoy my life even while hating it. Yes, I am a man of contradictions. A contrarian in you will. I wish I could rectify it, I really do. My mom is one of the most awesomest people I know. She is tough and strong and kind. I need to give her more. Okay, I am done meandering and aspects of this seem darker than intended. I guess, at the end of the day (literally, I should be in bed because I have to be at work at 4:30am) I am HERE and I still BELIEVE! In what, I am not entirely sure beyind, a better tomorrow? My own premminince? it doesnt' reallly matter. I am here. I believe in something even if I can't wholly define it. I will fight, I will continue. I will live...

The Power of Words.

Mother fucking, cock-sucking son-of-a-bitch! I am so fucking angry right now I could kick the shit out of any stupid fuck standing right fucking next to me! Naw, not really. But I did want to make a point, create an emotion and response from anyone strolling by for a read. Words and their power. What is a word? I am not going to drag out the old, "Webster's defines word as..." crap. A word is a collection of letters, those letters make syllables which form sounds on our palettes, respective to the language spoken. Fuck. An F, a U, a C, and a K. Individually they mean nothing except the building blocks of our spoken and written language. Together I will argue that they continue to mean nothing, or, more accurately they mean only what one thinks it means. And that is where the power is. Fuck. Seeing it and reading it causes a reaction because, much like Pavlov's Dog, you were taught to have that reaction, conditioned against your will to respond a certain way (whether that response was exactly intentional or not), your brain was hijacked! Unhijack it and the power of that word, or any word, goes away. Now, of course we can't and don't even want to forget language or culture. We need it. But we can ignore the negativity inherent within it and by doing so, we minimize that power. Let me put it another way: Niggers! How did that one make you feel? Offended? That also means you are easy to control. If I know exactly how you are going to react in a given situation then I have power over you. Don't believe me? It is well documented that when humans get upset and emotional, they over-react, make mistakes and often (especially in today's media over-saturation) make themselves appear to be negative and hateful people, even if it is not true. Still don't believe me? Your fucking mother was a cheap whore that would do anything to keep her belly full of cum and your dad was her pimp and she ate shit on video for extra cash on weekends. How did that make you feel? Yet, upon closer examination, they are just words made up of syllables, constructed of letters. Our very minds betray us if we let it because in truth, I love your mother, she is a beautiful woman who raised you the best way she knew how. Feel better? You shouldn't because the actual truth is I have no idea who your mother is. Both lies and both used to manipulate others. Words, syllables and letters. That is all they really are. "But," you say, "guns are simply made up of metals and plastics and other things that on

their own can not harm." True enough but the difference between a gun and a word is vast. Take the words in a book. A letter exists on paper as ink in a pattern to create a shape in which we can recognize that promotes an idea in which we learned. It only has the meaning that we assign to it. A rifle is a physical construct designed for one purpose and when loaded and fired at a human, has a high probability of maiming or possibly killing that person regardless of the meaning they assign to the rifle. They're just words and if we continue to get upset or offended every time someone says or does something stupid, we are just as stupid as they are. By that logic we have become a very stupid society yet I am willing to bet you agree with me. Want to be your own person? Let go of the conditions and lessons taught to you which promote negativity and make you easily offended. Let them go because you will never, ever be able to change others through force, any kind of force. That is freedom from control you cannot buy and is the ultimate DIY. And never mistake (whether within yourself or others) kindness for weakness. Give power to good words, take power away from bad words. Your heart, as polluted as it may be by modern society, still knows the difference.

Hollywood Mandates...

In this age of sequels and remakes (the vast majority of which suck) I think it is only fair for us, the movie going public (which I understand is way down) to be entertained on some level beyond the film itself. So, all Hollywood titles should be mandated to make the following changes/adjustments for us, the moviegoer. Also, the movie posters should be become more abstract and suggestive (see image for example). Even older movies, ala Lucas style:

First movie in a series? This one is safe and open to any title they like UNLESS it is a remake and then must have THE MOVIE, THE MOTION PICTURE or BRAM STOKER'S (whether he wrote it or not as long as the film is based from a book) following the title to differentiate from the original.

Example: Bram Stoker's Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, The Movie (American Re-Make), Bram Stoker's Let Me In, The Motion Picture (The fact that the second film is ACTUALLY a vampire film is purely coincidental).

First sequel (i.e. second in series), regardless of title must have ELECTRIC BOOGALOO immediately after the 2.

Example: Jaws II: Electric Boogaloo or the even more labored: Bram Stoker's Girl with the Dragon Tattoo 2: Electric Boogaloo with Fire!

Trilogy title rule: Must have Revenge of the or Return of the (or variation therein) somewhere in the title.

Examples: Revenge of the Jaws, Piranha 3: The Revenge, Star Trek III: Spock's Revenge! or Return of the Jedi are all good examples.

A fourth film? Must have Search, Voyage, Mystery or Journey into must be in the title.

Examples: Star Trek IV, Journey into Spock's Mind, Jaws IV: Mystery of Why it was Made or Breakin' 4: Electric Voyage.

The fifth film? Okay, this one is easy. Must have ONE word immediately following the title that begins with "R" but NOT Revenge.

Examples: Alien Resurrection, Star Wars: Redacted!, Halloween 6: Retrograde, Twilight 5: Really? or Predator: Recompensator!

A sixth film. You may be thinking, "C'mon, no producer is THAT crazy or incompetent?" But I would point out Friday the Thirteenth, Star Trek or James Bond as only a few popular examples. Guidelines: At this point I think it is safe to say the title may return to a simpler time by actually using a variation of its original title, edited down to just the important bits or simply a numeral immediately following the original title.

Examples: Dragon Tattoo, Trek!, Thirteenth, Hllwn or Alien 6.

Seventh film in series: Simple, must be a "versus" film and only a "versus" film.

Examples: Freddy vs. Jason, Godzilla vs. Megalon, Jaws VII, Air Jaws vs. Dagon, Darth Vader vs. Unidentified Teenage Jedi Who Would Have Likely Kicked his Butt or Depp vs. Burton.

Eighth and further sequels? Must have increasingly goofier and longer titles which summarize the plot and make us simultaneously chuckle despite seeing the other seven or more titles and may use any element (but must be more than one) from the other rules.

Examples: Jaws VIII, Air Jaws vs. Barracuda Man 2: Electric Boogaloo the Revenge!, Friday the Thirteenth Part 23: Freddy get's a Colonoscopy from his new Doctor: Jason!, James Bond and the Spy Who Sleeps with Him and Gives Him Golden Eye. and finally The Wachowski Brothers' Star Wars 9: Lucas Reveals that Everything is Actually Part of the Matrix and Launches a New Toy Line.

What in God's Name happened to all the Atheists?

I liked atheists better when they were better Christians than the Christians. More and more I am exposed to various asshole atheists going out of there way to make it a point to what essentially boils down to hating on others. Damn you Richard Dawkins for making a religion out of anti-religion! One lesson to be learned by all of this? That the codification and dogmatic adherence to ANY idea (which in turn makes it a form of reality) is actually the ROOT of all evil! Gasp! Could Kevin Smith have been right? Although this is merely one example; I used to enjoy the Flying Spaghetti Monster home website. It was funny and thoughtful, then I read a reply to a Christian letter by the man who either runs or moderates the site (I wish I could find the link but I am too lazy to dig it up as it was some time ago). The man spouted nothing but hate, not just at the idea of Christianity but at the individual and he went on to expound how FSM is ALSO a religion! (Or so I remember) So, no more satirizing or tongue in cheek ribbing of religion, it is apparently on like Donkey Kong in that guy's mind. It saddens me, as an Agnostic and very serious fan of Jesus' words (as well as Buddha, Confucius, Lao Tzu and a few others) and not the bullshit religious practices that came later, that pain and frustration has indeed turned to anger and hate (Man, Lucas was on to something even if he took a dump on it later on in his career). I know I am not always in adherence to my own belief system (as no one is) hell, just recently I got into it with a friend because I was hurt and frustrated, I regretted it and hold nothing against him (although he apparently values our friendship much less) but it didn't give me the right, nor anyone the right to base any kind of structured and sustained hate against anyone else! Now I know it is likely a type of backlash and the assholes are always louder than majority so I am sure many good atheists still exist. So I hope all these other asshole atheists that have began to "jump on the bandwagon" and hating back, realize that it is never okay to base their own actions on the actions of others and remember why it is most of them turned away from organized religion in the first place and go back to being some of the kindest and most decent people on the planet. Or we may end up like that episode of South Park.

Voices in the Wind

Recently I have been pursuing my passions as a new career. ‘So what?’ right. In this economy with so many people out of work, everybody is trying to write a book, start a band, take up a hobby for money, etc. It is true; one aspect of the down economy that has been thriving is hobby/craft, music and comic book stores. Just ask the owners, they will tell you. So no doubt I am one of many. When I began, I was alone in my efforts. Lost in the scrabble for some sense of justification and certainly my voice didn’t amount to much among the din of so many other voices. But, I reached out, asked another to join me, an old friend, although we had our differences in the past, with which we had always been creatively stronger together than apart. Together we both reached out, found another, then another and we were rolling. Our collective voices became louder and the wind suddenly didn’t seem so fierce. We labored and worked and produced. While not necessarily professional quality, it was good and it was always getting better. We were (and are) building toward working for and with our collective life-long passions. Yesterday, although I don’t think we consciously realized it at the time, was our first big test (if not for the others, certainly for me). Not necessarily creatively but certainly emotionally. We, as a group, were exhibitors at the Vegas Valley Comic Book Festival, showing off our stuff, meeting people and generally trying to generate interest in what we have produced and what our philosophy is. What I have to say about the experiences there are, of course, mine alone. My friends and partners, no doubt, had their own perspectives. Early in the day, after meeting many of the other exhibitors and finding out what everyone is about as they in turn learned what we are about, I couldn’t help but think, “Crap, here we are again, yelling into a storm so loud it threatens to swallow us. So many others are trying to do what we are doing, how will we ever stand out?” While I was thinking about that many of the others asked us a very direct and interesting question, “You guys are a group of writers, artists and colorists all working together for free? How the hell did you do that?” I began to realize that we were doing something different. The day continued on and I met a professional artist duo. This gentlemen and gentle-lady are so prolific yet relatively unknown (to the public, anyway) that if I were to ask you if you had read (or even have seen the cover) a random comic in the last ten years or even any comic-style children’s book in the last three years than you have likely seen his work. I own their book and read it (and am currently working through their program) and they, in the introduction, outlined their personal and professional philosophy. Admittedly, while talking to him, I wanted to test this. See if, in person, he and his wife were the type of people they claimed to be in the book. The answer is yes! Very much so! In fact, they both made it a point to converse with me. Even more interestingly, he asked about what we are doing, what we had done so far, how we operated, our overall philosophy, etc. There are no secrets here, I wasn’t divulging anything new or unique, I was simply explaining that we are like-minded artists working together collaboratively with the intention of always improving and getting better which will lead us to working professionally in the industry. He said something then that really surprised me. He said, “Wow, you guys get it. You will be fine.” Now, I am not so naïve to think all will be rosy because a professional said I am good to go. I realize my own path (and that of our group) in this field is still long and a great deal of hard work is in front of me (us). Some luck and timing is still (and always) involved, as is the desire and planning to create that timing and luck. But I will definitely take that endorsement and run with it. As the day went on and we met other professionals, the news just got better. One anecdote I must share is my artist friend took his portfolio with what we are working on together, to another prolific/professional pencil artist (had worked with the likes of Jack Kirby, Stan Lee and many others). This guy complemented my friend’s storytelling and characterizations and then went on to give an honest critique on other aspects of his art. He was honest but always encouraging and this artist seemed to genuinely like my friend and his art. Later we talked to yet another professional who is our friend, now owns a comic shop and has never been one to shy away from sharing his opinion. We told him about my artist friend’s portfolio review from said artist and our friend says, “That guy? Wow, are you okay, that guy is a ball buster. He is known for ripping people up constantly.” Our friend said this in all sincerity. Needless to say, I do believe my artist friend is likely still floating up in the clouds. Without continuing on about every anecdote and experience, we did receive other (as a group and individual) positive comments. When the day was winding down I really felt that our voice was loud and clear within the wind. Sure, we know we have a long road ahead and a lot of hard work but yesterday our efforts and desires were reaffirmed and encouraged by some of the very people we aspire to emulate. At the end, I split my meager profits among my partners, they argued, saying I should keep it (I am really talking about, all told $25 bucks or so split three ways, pocket change in today’s world) I insisted because we always agreed the profit of what we had done would always be split a certain way depending on who worked on what. Essentially I wanted my friends to know, even with chump-change, that it will never be about the money between us and that if we didn't start right away, with the correct intent and action regarding even this smell-time cash, then what are we working together for? I hope they got the message. If this isn’t a successful day in working toward your dreams than I don’t know what is.