Adam LaVey: Steven Spielberg’s greatest hits!

Disclaimer: This blog is not political nor has any hint of PC thugness.

First things first; I am not a Spielberg fan, in general. In fact I dislike a vast majority of the films he has been involved with. I, like so many others (as well as Trey Parker and Matt Stone) felt that he and George Lucas raped the Indiana Jones franchise for the last outing in numerous ways. That being said and for some inexplicable reason, I felt the need to understand why Steven Spielberg is considered one of the most influential filmmakers of modern cinema. In truth, I feel that the vast majority of what Spielberg directs is utter crap. And I am not talking about the neighborhood dog that leaves a present on your lawn, variety of crap. I am talking about the kind of crap that even surpasses the Disney Channel! With all of that regurgitated I did want to focus on what it is I actually like that Spielberg has been involved with…

Munich – This much under-recognized film shows off what Spielberg can actually do with a camera when he wants to. This film, to me, is Spielberg’s best. Gritty, uncompromising and tragic, this film explores the nature of violence in the modern world. Unlike many of his other “statement” movies (I’m looking at you Amistad, Schindler’s List, Saving Private Ryan and probably a few more I’ve missed) this one is light on the Spielberg-ian message and over sentimentality and is more of a statement that is, like all good art should be, open for interpretation.

1941 – This movie is widely considered a disaster and a flop. Sadly, this may be more of a statement regarding my tenuous connection to this world and what is popular but enough about that. This movie is big, wild and crazy! It has action, music, dancing, a literal cast of thousands and John Belushi as a World War II fighter pilot that I wanted to be when I grew up. It encompasses paranoia and how it can make otherwise rational people behave quite irrationally as well as some of the craziest parody ever put on screen (and that is saying something considering films like Airplane and the like). I think this film actually demonstrates what is best about Spielberg’s more whimsical touch when filmmaking and it is a shame it has not achieved more success through the years. Still, it has its fans and I am counted among them.

Jaws – My first popular movie on the list and Spielberg’s first undeniable hit. Really, since this is a popular one, I won’t explain too much other than to say this film actually does what most people say about Spielberg's other films. It is “Big Budget” filmmaking with a great cast, memorable lines and scenes, a story that feels larger than life (yet really isn’t) and is critically acclaimed (i.e. damn goods filmmaking).

The Lost World: Jurassic Park – Okay, okay let me explain. This film is rooted in the “Ed Wood” category on that it is so bad, it is good. I am also willing to bet Spielberg himself realized this as the last act breaks down into parody of his own filmmaking style. In my opinion, best of the otherwise dreadful Jurassic Park franchise (Only the movies, the books are quite good) if only for their nearly flawless effects combined with absurd situations in a ballet of tongue-in-cheek moments that still manage to excite.

Raiders of the Lost Ark – Okay, let’s be honest. From an objective point of view this film does not hold up. Spielberg’s over-choreographed action set-pieces (for which are even more magnified in later films) are on full display here. Despite this, I still love it and for this type of film (i.e. Saturday Cliff-Hanger Serial meets modern Big Budget Filmmaking) the style works. This particular film has so many things going for it that it survives and thrives despite lackluster (or in some cases terrible and embarrassing, I’m looking at you Crystal Skull) sequels. Of course its sequels also suffer from this one’s phenomenal success and no matter what kind of crap Indy ends up in (and I mean script-wise, not onscreen shenanigans), we can always put this DVD in our players to remind us why we love the character in the first place.

Honorable Mention: Empire of the Sun – I cannot honestly comment on this film other than to say I remember enjoying it immensely at a time when I loathed the name Steven Spielberg. I saw this film when it was in theaters in 1987 and have not seen it since, so I should probably give this another view just to be sure.

The Crap Pile

Too many films to honestly list but I will place a couple of my least favorite.

War of the Worlds – A terrible adaptation of one of my favorite books in all the world. Was it doomed from the start because of this fact? Hmm, so let me get this straight, Martians, untold years ago, were capable of space flight (and advanced force-field technology) had buried giant war machines beneath our Earth so that at a time of their choosing they could invade and destroy our very planet yet were defeated by our earth-bound bacteria and viruses? Now I could go on with why this is immensely more implausible then the fact that Martians would invade, anyway but I won’t. I wanted to like this film, even if Tom Cruise was the lead, I really did. Actually, I think I’ll re-read the book. . .

E.T.: The Redux – Yikes! Why take an overblown kids fantasy film and make it worse with ridiculous CGI?!?!? Some things are best left forgotten and this question (as well as this version of the film) should also be.

Spielberg’s Production Credits – Let’s be honest, Spielberg was involved in many popular and influential films so I figured I had better list some of my favorites of those too.