Christians love the Apocalypse! Or Why George Dubya loves my Ex-wife and how I became a card carrying member of P.A.G.A.N.

Christians love the idea of the coming Apocalypse. It makes their lives incredibly easy. They don’t have to think of the future. All they have to do is exist and wait for the return of their savior, y’know the Lord Jesus fucking Christ (At least that’s what my Dad always calls him). They get to pretend that they don’t have any responsibility for anything that goes on and that they can be blissfully ignorant to the world around them.

Now, I realize that not all Christians act this way, unfortunately it’s just the majority. They have forgotten some of the more important teachings of that Jesus F. guy. Y’know, Matthew 18:35 "...forgive your brother from your heart." or even a few of the Beatitudes in Matthew 5:7 & 9 "Blessed are the merciful for they will be shown mercy." and "Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God." and believe me (or God) I could go on and on. I mean, what the fuck? Did a majority of the Christians in the U.S. even read this stuff! It’s all right there you dumb fucks! Free will, remember, the gift to act (unlike animals which can only react)!

I digress. My point is that most Christians rely on the fact that the Anti-Christ is going to come along and fuck the world up so bad that Jesus is going to show up and save the day riding in on his white horse (Of course whether his horse or Death’s horse is white is an actual religious debate). What’s even more laughable is that before all of this crap happens, all the good little Christians will suddenly disappear in some great goofy event called the Rapture. Yeah okay, news flash Christianinos! If you die, your mortal life ends! Regardless of how, why, when or by whom. When you die, it will be your own personal little apocalypse whether anyone is around or not. Wake the fuck up!

On a side note: Wouldn't it be fucking hilarious to see the Rapture happen and like 70% of Christians were left on Earth, while all the Pro-Choice and Liberals and good Muslims and Buddhists, along with various other religions suddenly vanish. I'd probably just walk around pointing and laughing out loud, "Hey dumb fuck, how's that for your world view!" or say the even more witty, "Wow, I guess you guys were right, there was a Rapture."

Now I must interrupt by explaining a bit about my ex-wife. She’s now born-again. Before all that baptismal crap, her life was a mess and she never seemed to get it together after our divorce. Y’know, went through a few bad relationships and other nastier situations. Then she found Jesus. Hallelujah! Honestly her life did improve, she found focus and a sense of purpose. Mostly it was a good thing for her, but unfortunately, like most modern Christians she became incredibly insular beyond her belief system and close minded. And worse still was that I could no longer talk her into oral sex once or twice a month, damned religion!

Why does George Dubya love her. Well it’s not so much George but people like George. The worst of the bunch and thankfully there is a place reserved down on level 9 of hell, just for them. People like George and his cronies wear religion like a cloak. They use it to further their own subconscious desires and agendas. They use it to justify all of the fucked up shit that they do. They love the modern Christian because those poor saps have been taught that they (as a religious group) have waited so long for their savior that they misplace an almost godlike reverence on Assholes like George.

Well, at least they have chosen a side. And now, so have I.. I have recently gone through the treacherous and time consuming initiation rites of P.A.G.A.N. (Scroll down to his outstanding article People Against Goodness and Normalcy) I am now a full fledged member. Join us you fucking pussy! Choose a side and be labeled. As Mr. Miyagi say, "...grape in middle of road get squashed."